This last week in class we discussed on the subject of blended/remarried families. This is the last blog post for this semester, I'm so thankful for the opportunity to take this class! I've learned so much from this and gained a better idea how to deal and solve different situations.
I personally have not experienced being in a split family, like my parents never got a divorce so I'm grateful for that, but I know lots and lots of people have to go through that struggle and change. About 62% of children under the age of 18 live with someone else other than their parents for example, a reconstituted family (adopted/foster). That must be extremely hard for the children who have to go through that, I have a few friends who are adopted. One of my super close friends is adopted and I asked her about her experience with it.
"Looking back on it now, it's been really rough and a blessing at the same time. I know what it's like to have a loving family and knowing someone has my back. It's different being a black child with a white family because going out it public, I notice people looking and it's weird but it doesn't bother me that much. Like any other family it has it's ups and downs."
We then started talking about how to adjust to a new family setting, so if there is a new parent In the family. When first adjusting to a new family, most people forget that it takes a minimum of two years to reach "normalcy", to really adjust and have the kids adjust as well. During this lecture we talked about how all the heavy discipline should be handled by the birth parent. This is because there is already an established relationship between the child and the birth parent. And there is an opportunity given to the child when disciplined by the birth parent to turn to the new parent in the family, which could overall bring them closer. A quick tip that was given is, when you are quick to call your fowls in parenting, things will go a lot smoother and things will work out better.
Moving on to the two parents coming together as one. During this new transition, you and your spouse need to council together more than ever to get the hang of things and really become knowledgable on how things run in the family. No one should come before you and your spouse, it really is okay to not have all your attention on the kids all the time. You and your spouse should cleave to each other so you have a really strong foundation and relationship. Whenever I think of cleaving to someone, I always think of squeezing so hard to that person and never wanting to let go. We turned to the Bible and read in Genesis 2:24 and it reads:
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his Wife: and they shall be one flesh.
There was an apology shared in class about cleaving to each other which I thought was a really great analogy. So you're on a rope course with your spouse, and the beginning there is a base board that both of you stand on. There are two other boards across from each other and you two are on each one facing each other. You both have to lean on each others hands because the further you go, the further the boards get from each other. Getting further and further apart, you have to put all your weight on the other person so you're equal. If one of you doesn't put your full weight on each other its not going to work and you're going to have problems and end up falling off. Hopefully that this blog did some good for whoever is reading it, I have really enjoyed my time in this class and has really prepared me to have my own family and what I really want my family to have.
